Wow...

been busy busy busy busy...

tt is why i never blogged.. kaox..so damm tired can..finally can hv a breather..although still gt leadership and sociology de project haven gao dim...

erm.. it has been chaotic for me.. been super busy wif sch work..and church work... tt i tink i missed out someting..or neglected someting/somebodi.. well.. sori abt it..

then e NXT BIG ting of my class is our class chalet=D fooyoo.. i have been tinking abt it since like wt..sem 1??..hahahx..happening lor..finally wif dave e organizer and mi helping him we are going to make IT happen.=x sound so iit..-.-" hahax..influenced... hahahax... hopefully everibodi enthu then can liaox..hahax..=p

church is veri stressful... 08 is like a whole new break thru for mi la..=x totally stepping out of my comfort zone and stepping into service department, drummer and a CG leader.. i reali dunno i am up to it or nt.. it is e younger 1 spiritual life and growth i am talking abt here.. u wan me be a brother to be there for them to help them and give them advice no prob..bt being a CGL is a totally new ting la can..-.-" seriously i am feeling VERY STRESS abt it nw.. i wanted to be in the outreach department.. bt as there is nobodi to fill in the service department they asked mi to be in e service dept.. whole new area.. and trying veri hard to cope.. and nw CGL... omg... lord i reali dunno wt to do ar...=x

stressed stressed stressed... then still gt the stupid pHantOs outing tingy.. gt chalet bt i simply dun wan to go la.. i felt reali left out... reali no motivation or no reason to go.. they all in their own small grp.. all biz ppl...-.-" then no point la.. i dun tink i am going for the chalet let alone going for FOC FOW... bt i reali wanna go for FOC FOW.. bt my grp..-.-" all like tt..no mood to go la.. kaox... then i gt children camp frm 12-15.. then stupid OTC starts on the 11th.. is like wth la..all my timing clashes... kns la... nt funi lor.. -.-" and i wanna work..then after OTC is FOC FOW..then after FOC FOW is week 0... omg..my holidae is like no holidae again..-.-" so lifeless sia my life... omg...

millions and tons of tings i wan to talk to u... bt no chance...

no chance == no future

no future != so near yet so far

so near yet so far == i miss you

i miss you != i love u

i love u == i'll wait for u

i reali dunon wt to do.. i hv been tinking alot.. and e more i tink..e more confirmed i am..

i am nt e 1 for u... == i give up.....

tkae care......

wt did i do to deserve such a family...

family is nth bt a piece of shit...

y do i alwax hv to go thru such situations...

why others de family is so much better of then mine..

atleast their parents cared..

their felt siblings love....

their know their belonged...


MINE... ????? _l_
i hate being made used of.. i reali hate it... the feeling is simply jux nt right anymore...

28.12.07

had been tinking thru alot..and i am still tinking.. well..sch work had been taking its toll on me.. wonderful... stressed like omg..and there on the other hand..i do not knw wt to do... how come illusions seemed so real in life... i cant tel if u are real or fake.. hope tt i will be enlighted and knw wt to do..

new yr... new begining.. i will nt hold on or clinge on onto the past as it is called past for a reason.. i hv decided i wan to be with you..every single day every single minute and second of my life. as only You will be there for me when i need someone to be there. you sends angels to help me along the way but also allowed devils to trip me and block me along the way, so i can grow. thank you. love you and praises for you~! let me serve you whole heartly this year. for the youth for you.

sometings cant be forced..let nature take its way....